I Fear She Will Forget

Today is the anniversary of  Davis Farm's first blog post. 

Little did I know then how this blog would become an outlet for my expression 

through deep grief and cancer. 

How I would wrestle with all things eternal.

It seems like just yesterday that Gary and the kids went off to the Williston Parade. 

As usual there had been much activity. 

It was nice to have a few moments to myself. 

I can't remember what I did with those moments. 

I am sure I made an ice cream cake for Eleanor's birthday. 

I probably wrote the post. 

But most importantly our family was intact. 

Elijah was still here. 

We only had 24 days left with him. 

I wonder. 

Would I have changed anything? 

I don't think so. 

I have lived my life intentionally. 

Even when I was younger. 

The way for me confusing at times but mostly clear. 

I didn't need to be rebellious.

I didn't like being in trouble or letting people down. 

I loved the Lord and strove to please him. 

As I have matured, so has my walk with the Lord. 

It has been years of seeking. 

I was obedient to God. 

Each moment a gift. 

Not always perfect. 

I loved my kids. 

I did what I thought best. 

I am sure I was too rough or short with them. 

But I told them I loved them. 

I showed them. 

Even the night Elijah left. 

I hugged and kissed him. 

I have no regrets; just that he's gone. 

So thank you for a year of reading our posts. 

Our baby is now 9.

She has grown so much.

She loves to help. 

She knows how to get snuggie. 

God knew what he was doing when he sent this gift to us. 

We weren't expecting another child.

He knew how much I would need her. 

Her snuggles and smiles help me through. 

She still needs me and that gives me purpose. 

Her year has been full of really hard lessons. 

I fear she will forget. 

I encourage her to tell me stories of Elijah.

 The hope that the telling will ingrain in her mind his memory. 

It is the telling we need to do as well. 

The telling of the promises and the hope found in a life surrendered to Christ. 

The telling of his love and grace. 

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

We must never stop the telling. 

We must remember. 

For in remembering we have hope. 

Happy Birthday my sweet Ella. 

Thank you for the reminder to never stop telling. 

May you grow to love Jesus more and more. 

May his love shine upon you. 

May you do great things for His Kingdom and share hope and love to this hurting world.