It's The Receiving That Is So Hard

He's here. 

 A man who offered to pray for our family 1600 miles away. 

He has connections and mutual friends here in the area. 

He prayed. 

During those long months of chemo and radiation and dense fog. 

He prayed; for us.  

When I could barely put a foot in front of the other. 

He prayed. 

He sent encouraging e-mails. 

A stranger. Now friend. 

Brothers and sisters in Christ. 

He wanted to do something. 

Something for us. 

We didn't know what to say. 

And now he's here. 

How do you say anything when a community and town have already

 carried you on the wings of grace?

How do you answer when the only thing you really want you can't have?

Aren't we that kind of people?

Always wanting what is just out of reach. 

Wanting the thing we can't have, and forgetting all that is before us. 

Missing all the grace because we do not have eyes to see. 

Mark 8:18

Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? 

And don't you remember?

Jesus is reminding his people of the things He has already done. 

Ways he has already provided. 

He wants us to remember. 

He led the wandering Israelite's out of Egypt. 

He brought them to the promised land. 

He did what He said He would do. 

We need to be faithful. 

We need to remember His promises. 

Never ending promises. 

I am not sure if I can receive more grace. 

It's a different kind of grace than the touch from above when you 

realize the sacrifice made for your sin, sick soul.  

It's more public. 

It's humbling. 

One who gave grace to our family, gave with His life.

I miss him. 

Now too, residing with the King of Kings. 

That still rakes me hard in my core; each day. 

Overwhelming. 

Wrestling with the purpose and intent in all that has ensued.

So this dear man is here. 

Along with others. 

Grace will visit this farm again. 

Unmerited. 

Undeserved. 

My soul is changing. 

I understand grace more than I ever have. 

I am grateful for that. 

I am grateful to God for his never ending mercies. 

I am. . . holding on to Him. 

David Crowder I Am

". . .There's no end to Amazing Grace."

I Am Holding On to you

I am holding on to you

In the middle of the storm

 I am holding on

I am 

Love like this oh my God so fine

I am overwhelmed with the joy divine

Love like this sets our hears on fire.