Remembering

We stand at the grave. 

This college friend and I. 

Last together when life didn't hold so many painful pieces.

Back when life was still fresh and young. 

This day we stand at the grave of my oldest son. 

"Tell me about Elijah, " she says. 

My eyes fill with tears. 

It's been months since I have let myself think of him. 

Months since I have paused to remember. 

Because in the remembering the searing ache lies. 

The sharp pain of who he was and will never be. 

The kind and caring, yet hot tempered red head. 

So handsome. 

So bent on being right. 

Blue, blue eyes. 

Perfect teeth from suffering through surgeries and braces. 

Smooth, pink skin. 

My son. 

Not all remembering brings pain. 

God was intent on us remembering. 

He wanted us to remember to not fear; 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Today is a day to remember a covenant made. 

A day our family celebrated and treasured. 

It is our oldest daughters 3rd Anniversary. 

The day she and her husband promised to love and cherish 

until death do they part. 

A commitment they don't take lightly. 

Each working to strive to help and serve the other. 

My farmer and I watch with tenderness as the husband of this stubborn farm girl chooses patience and understanding. 

We watch as this team encourages our precious grand daughter. 

We step into grace as we expect another grandchild in March. 

This day we remember; 

the covenant made. 

The joy of the day. 

Because in remembering we grow. 

In remembering we remain steadfast. 

Deuteronomy 32:7

Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you.

Happy 3rd Anniversary to our Oldest Farm girl 

and the only man my farmer would hand her off to. 

May you continue to love and respect each other. 

May you seek romance and choose joy. 

May you continually bring our farmette home to visit. 

Alan Jackson 

Remember When

His Room is Still Empty. . .And So Is The Tomb

His room is still empty. 

I climb to the top of the stairs. 

It has become cluttered again. . . 

with stuff. 

Stuff that isn't his. 

Extra baggage that doesn't belong there. 

Our new adventure has consumed much energy. 

Each time a list complete. . . another, just as long, emerges. 

Details begat more details. 

Things we hadn't noticed before, began to come to light. 

We were taking the time to examine. 

My quiet time has been filled with me talking. 

Me requesting. 

Pushing off time in the Ancient Word. 

Spending time instead on forms and taxes and legal requirements. 

Those quiet moments with God being pushed aside. 

So subtly I didn't even notice. 

Those things are important. 

Vitally important. 

So is the time we spend with God. 

As we draw closer he refines us. 

Purifies us. 

Changes us. 

He exposes the areas in need of change. 

He walks with us. 

He nourishes us. 

He loves us enough to not leave us where we are;

 but to remove our dross. 

And make us more into His likeness. 

I Corinthians 13:12

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And as I climb those stairs. . . I think on these things. 

His room will remain empty of him. . . but cluttered with stuff, 

until I choose to go and enter in. 

Enter in to the pain and memories. 

Enter in to the joy and thrill of parenting. 

Remembering the beautiful. 

God is at work. 

He never slumber nor sleeps. 

Psalm 121:4

indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

Though my heart aches and I struggle to define priorities. 

God has not left my side. 

He never said this road would be easy. 

He has always said that he would be there. 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Our journey is not finished. 

This is not our home. 

We have work to do. 

Jesus is coming back. 

The tomb is empty my friends. 

One day He will wipe away every tear. 

And that should be our focus. 

Life. . . One on one. 

Meeting needs. 

Putting feet on dreams. 

Waiting to see. 

Because the best. . . is yet to come. 

Worry, Epiphanies and the Every Day

I'm not sleeping well. 

It's been 27 months without my son. 

I go to bed exhausted. 

I wake up exhausted. 

I know I've been awake in the night. 

I have that heavy feeling. 

What is keeping me up? 

Luke 10:41

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, 

"you are worried and upset about many things,

but few things are needed-- or indeed only one. 

Mary has chosen what is better, 

and it will not be taken away from her."

This verse has troubled me for many years. 

I've attended retreats based on the verse. 

Read an insightful book on the subject. 

Still. 

I am troubled. 

These days have been busy with preparing our Guest House. 

For putting feet on dreams. 

Planning out details. 

What are the goals of the this business?

How will things get accomplished?

Lists.  

Painting. 

Decorating. 

Praying. 

More painting. 

Mixed into all of this is farm work, book work, 

cooking, grieving, taking care of kids and preparing for winter;

 just to name a few. 

While I am at the stove I pondering these things. 

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things,but few things are needed--or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Martha was at the stove cooking, planning preparing. 

She had company in her home. 

Her gift hospitality. 

These folks were probably hungry. 

They had been on a long journey. 

And now. 

They were in her home. 

It was her job to care for them.

While I was cooking the notion struck me. 

All these years it's been Martha "the doer".

And Mary, "the sit at Jesus feet-er." 

While I was cooking I noticed my attitude. 

I was stewing. 

About this and that. 

I was hotter than the kettle I was working with. 

I was doing what was needed. 

But. . . I was stewing. 

And I thought. 

THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!

While other's gone before me have probably made this connection. 

I have not. 

It's not what Martha was doing that was the problem. 

It was what she was thinking. 

It's not that she needed to neglect the house to commune with our LORD. 

No. 

It was her attitude. 

The cooking was fine. 

The preparation was needed. 

But it was her heart. 

She was stewing. 

She was at that kitchen banging around. 

Ticked at her sister. 

Mary. . . was right at Jesus' feet. 

Her sweet spirit in tune with the Savior. 

Waiting to hear and absorb all there was. 

Time was short. 

Seek contentment in all you do. 

When cooking or, ack, cleaning. 

Where is your heart? 

Do you do the task joyfully as unto the LORD?

Or are you spewing and ranting, slamming pots and stomping around? 

There was nothing wrong with Martha and what she was doing. 

It was the way she was doing it. 

So, while I was at the stove having this epiphany 

(and burning what ever I was doing). 

I changed my attitude. 

Instead of stewing about what everyone else was 

doing. . .or not doing in this case, I looked to the Lord. 

I closed my eyes, (might be part of the burning) and gave thanks for the opportunity to cook. 

Yes. 

I even thanked God for the opportunity to clean. 

I slowed myself down. 

Sometimes we get off track. 

Jesus wasn't elevating Mary sitting as his feet while Martha was working. 

He wasn't encouraging Martha to come and literally sit at his feet. 

We're busy people. 

There is work to be done. 

He wants us in the midst of the work. 

The work is holy. 

He wants the merging of the two. 

He will help us. 

He's in the business of helping us; changing us. 

He is fighting for us! 

Exodus 14:14

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

We are called to be light. 

Matthew 5:15

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Lauren Daigle

Salt and Light 

We're Stepping Out In Faith, We're putting Feet on A Dream!

We're working hard.

Painting. 

Cleaning.  (Eww)

Gardening. 

Decorating. 

So exciting. 

We're taking a step of faith. 

Putting feet on a dream.

My farmers word from the Lord. 

"More people."

My gift; hospitality. 

Friends who are all in. 

Do you long to experience a slower pace? 

Have you ever wondered what life on a farm might look like?

Do you just need a break? 

Introducing the 

Davis Farm Guest House

At the Davis Farm Guest House you will find all of that and more. 

We are creating a space, with a spectacular view, and lots of coffee, 
 for you to come to us. 

Check into our cozy three bedroom Guest House. 

Come and experience life on our farm. 

Drive the cows home for milking. 

Stack wood for the fires for winter. 

Help make bread or purchase your own local ingredients 
to create a delicious dinner in our spacious, fully stocked kitchen. 


Sit and savor the view with a hot cup of coffee or tea on our beautiful deck. 

Or curl up with a book by the warmth of a fire. 

If adventure is what you seek, climb our local Mount Mansfield or 
Camel's hump. 

Head into down town Burlington for shopping, great food and excitement. 

Drive to the slopes during ski season. 
Take full advantage of our close proximity to Smugglers Notch. 

Come stay for a weekend, a week or a month. 

A get a way for the whole family or time to re-connect with friends. 

There's plenty of room. 

We've been planning, painting and praying. 

We've been getting ready to welcome you and your friends and family 

to our 

Davis Farm Guest House


Come as strangers. . . leave as family. 

 Will you please share our new adventure. 

Contact us at 802-899-2357 
or e-mail us at davisfarm@surfglobal.net  for reservations. 

Find us on the web at www.farmingoncilleyhill.blogspot.com 
or on our Davis Farm face book page. 

Looking forward to sharing this beautiful space we have been blessed with. 

Let us know what you think! 

Summer, Please Don't End

Milking is finished. 
The cows are heading to pasture. 

It is unseasonably warm. 
(with NO humidity!)

A glorious sunrise. 

Hot coffee. 
The Ancient word. 

Taking time to -
Stop
And thank God for:

This sunrise
the beautiful weather
(and NO hudimity!)
lots of coffee
A slower day
grace for the journey
friendship
new adventures
music
learning in the struggle
fall

baking
did I mention coffee? 
farm table visits

new employees
warm breeze
Sheets on the line

and coffee


May your day be filled with immeasurable grace. 
Attempt to not complain about one thing. 
At all. 
Look for the thankful moments. 
Be the hands and feet of Jesus to just one person. 

Let me know how this works for you. 

Blessings on this day. 

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God;
 the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

The Smell of Dog Pee Pushed Me On

I begin to clean my room. 

The room I have occupied since my wedding night. 

The room I have not cleaned since before the accident. 

Piles of stuff. 

Dirt. 

The smell of dog pee. 

I know it's in there somewhere. 

Yes. 

It's gross. 

And that's what I have been living in. 

I can barely begin to clean. 

I can't stay focused on anything. 

I try. 

I have help sometimes. 
A friend who is quiet and gentle comes to be by my side. 

We clean or organize and then it seeps in again. 

I hate living like this. 

So I begin. 

In my room. 

I have piled letters, cards and books. 

From so many. 

I don't want to part with them. 

Some I do not even remember receiving. 

Book after book. 

Slowly, I begin to read the words sent to my family. 

It is overwhelming.
Even two years later, I find it hard to believe. 

I feel the fog descending. 

I focus back to my task. 

I clean the books. 

I re-pile them. 
I press on. 

I vacuum and put away clothes. 

I start to make a pile to throw away, to give away. 

It feels good. 

Layers of dirt and grime. 
Removing that awful smell. 
Being cleaned. 
I sort through envelopes. 
The programs to Elijah's funeral. 
More books on grief. 

I keep cleaning. 
I press on. 

Living with grief is not easy. 
The loss of a child threatens to pull you under at any moment. 
But all of life is like that. 
Unless we surrender. 
I keep cleaning. 
I press on. 

As I clean I can't help but think of the shed blood of the lamb. 
The cleansing that was done, Once, for all. 

How wonderful it feels to have a clean house. 

How greater still. 
To have a clean, redeemed soul. 

Happy Cleaning. 

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a pure heart, O God, 
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

In an Impulsive, Immediate Gratification Seeking Culture. . . I Will Wait

God closed a door. 

And I didn't like it. 

He'd already slammed the door in other ways in our lives. 

This felt like it was just the last straw. 

I vacillated between anger and trying to trust. 

Leaning on what I know. . . not on what I feel. 

Those are hard things. 
This world throws things into our pathway. 

At each turn; we choose. 
We can step into grace. 
Seeking wisdom in the walk. 
Trusting in a plan held by a Divine Creator. 
Or we can let this world drag us down. 

Bitterness and anger seep in. 

I started down that path. 
Justifying my behavior. 
Condoning my feelings with self gratifying words. 
"I" this and "I" that. 
The door closed. 
And I wasn't prepared. 

Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

All my planning and trusting led to another closed door. 

I am not sure where God is leading. 

But I trust the direction. 

I trust that God is establishing our steps. 

So, I will continue to wait. 

Waiting takes work. 

Seeking, trusting, waiting. 

In an impulsive and immediate gratification society 
these words slam against the culture. 

I don't want to take a step out of His will. 

 I will wait. 

I will listen for the still quiet voice. 

The voice that soothes this aching heart. 

The voice that will bring about His plan, in His timing. 

 I will wait. 

Seeking, trusting, and waiting. 

Isaiah 40:31
 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; 
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary;
 and they shall walk, and not faint.