Saturday, March 29, 2014

Celebrating Advent During Lent

The water pours in the end of the freestall barn.

The beds are soaked.
Not one cow will want those stalls. 
They will become like concrete. 
The fuel runs out in the tenants house. 
A mistake made. 
The feed is poor quality so the cows are dropping in milk. 
The bills remain the same. 
On top of that it snowed and the sun never showed it's face. 
Really there is no relief in sight;
another storm predicted for this weekend. 
It's almost April.  
And I wonder why the farmer is depressed?
I can feel it deep down. 
I am going to lose it. There is too much to keep together. Too many things going wrong.
The snow gains momentum. It is falling in gusty sheets. 
I resign myself. 
Winter will not end. 
So, I play Christmas music and sing out loud. 
I turn the up the volume.
I tease my daughter and text her lyrics to Christmas Carols until she writes; 
For a moment I think, I can't stop, or I will lose my mind.
I feel so fragile. I need to laugh or I will cry a river. 
I stop. Right there in my tracks. 
I have a choice. 
I can succumb to the situations before me; 
or I can stand with my feet firmly planted.
Today I choose joy . 
I played the Christmas music. 
I kept moving. 
I folded clothes and cleaned dishes. 
I ran errands and sang those Carols. 
I prayed for strength to make it through these days. 
I sang about the Holly and the Ivy.
 In the middle of Lent, I celebrated Advent. 
I sang about the tiny baby in Bethlehem. 
I sang about the Parson and the Snowman. 
And it's right there. 
We wait in anticipation of the birth; the incarnate; the holy. 
We celebrate the birth so we can rejoice in the resurrection. 
We wait in Lent. 
We prepare for the death. 
The death that must come before the resurrection. 
The pain, the agony, which must come to pass.

Matthew 26:56
But this has all taken place that the writings 
of the prophets might be fulfilled."

 I find myself at the end of the day. 
The farmhouse has quieted down. 

I feel a sense of accomplishment. 
I made it. 
I made it through another day. 
I am still standing. 
The rock is solid and I have placed my feet firmly there.