Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Let Down From Our Desire vs Reality

I walk by his room.
 I lean into the doorway. 
It's a habit now.
 I breathe in deep.
 I softly call his name.
 I just want to hear it. 
I long for him to be bustling around late for something. 
He was always late.
Couldn't find what he needed. So much like me. 
So many days it's the same endless feelings. 
Desire vs. Reality.  
Skinny vs Plus size. 
Clean house vs Messy.
The desire to have studied more; the reality of failing.
 On and on it goes. 
We can run scenario after scenario of situations where we 
feel defeated or let down from our desire verses reality.
We become discouraged and hurt as the reality beats us down.  
I long for my son to return. But that is not going to be. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says,
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, 
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God knows the plans He has for us. 
He knows.
They are not our plans. 
Trust me. 
His plans may not be plans we necessary like or enjoy at the time. 
But, they are His plans. 
He knows the outcome. 
And I would rather walk each day on this heart wrenching journey in his plan than any other way. 
As we pray and surrender each day to God's mercies and grace;
He will lead us. 
Even through the painful, heartache filled moments. 
He is there. He will lead us. 
As we draw near to him, His desires become our reality
His strength; our strength.

James 4:8
Come near to God and he will come near to you

As we draw near to Him our focus shifts from the me driven thought, to the Holy. 
We are changed.
He's got this. God's got it all in His hands. 
We can't take the good without the bad. 
We can't receive the good God offers without the troubled part in the journey. 
This is not our home. 
But we are here; for a time. 
And this is your time. 
Your time to be God's hands and feet.
You're here at this moment for a purpose.
 Seek that purpose with all you have. 
As I step into each new day, each day that leads me further from the accident
further from my son here on this earth
I challenge you to step into the day too. 
Embrace the journey God sets before you. 

I think Kid President says it best. 
Some days you'll get ice cream; and some days you won't.
Some days your kite will fly high; some days it will get stuck in the tree.
Just treat everybody like it's their birthday. 

What a thought. Be God's hands and feet. 
We can't change the circumstances of our life. 
But we can change how we look at them. 


  1. Tammy, you are such an encouragement to all of us, who read your blog, daily! I continue to pray for you, Gary, you family & for you farm, daily. I am sure that there are many others, who do so, as well.