Thursday, March 6, 2014

Practicing Being Still

Oh how we miss him. 
We all chafe under the memory. 

Each trying to sort through the grief and pain. 
As Gary gains strength and the visits to the hospital decrease we wrestle with our roles. 
Who are we? Where do we fit in this family.
Elijah was larger than life.

His personality demanding attention.
He was loved. He was respected.
He was our boy.
The weight of the loss crushing.
The life without him seems pale.
Yet we are commanded to move forward.
To step toward the work still left here for us to do.
Yet those roles are smudged and we all feel it.
I am glad we had a winter break.
I think back to last years break.
Elijah, Clarissa and I embarked on the band trip excursion on a cruise.
I treasure that time.

The seating on the plane by alphabet, so unexpected seat mates we were. 4 hours side by side.

A gift. A treasure.
A memory.
What do we do with those memories, when it's all we have left?
When our hearts yearn for more.
When life steps forward further and further from the accident.
Losing your child snaps the future from you.
Over night we are changed. 

As time presses on the fog continues to clear.
There are moments when you can actually feel your mind reconnecting with the reality of this world.
I came across this article, "What Christians Get Wrong About Lent."
The season of Lent is time for reflection for me.
A reflection on who God is in my life.
How will I move forward through this life when there is so much heartache and turmoil?
So I am practicing listening. 
Embracing the quiet
Avoiding filling space with words.
Longing for the quiet to fill the void and ease the ache.

Psalm 46:10
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
 I will be exalted in the earth."

How are you spending Lent this year?
How will you become more intentional about about your walk with Christ?

Be Still
and know, I Am 

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