Oh, I make everyone mad in my family.
It does't happen often.
But when it does.
I can't stop.
I call it holy laughter because there really is nothing funny that has happened.
And it's usually at prayer time at the table. When I need to be modeling appropriate behavior.
It's just before we are about to say grace.
And it's really an inappropriate time to giggle.
But I do anyway.
And then everyone else does.
Except for Gary and Elijah.
Oh, Elijah would get so mad at me.
I couldn't stop.
It happened again yesterday.
I even got up from the table and went outside.
I came back and I still couldn't stop.
We had a guest at the table.
But I couldn't stop.
I giggled right through the singing of our grace.
And I rejoiced that I could laugh.
I am not sure what my children will remember when they are older.
Maybe their mother was crazy?
Or maybe, just maybe, they will remember that in the face of great adversity and deepest pain, there is a place where laughter remains.
A hope that rises from the strength rooted deeply in the grace of God.
While I may not be the poster child for the best mom in the world, I cling to hope that laughter remains in the midst of anguish.
That God meets us right in the thick of the turmoil and yuck.
Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Elijah would constantly show us videos. This is one we love so much.
Hope you enjoy.
Sounds to me like you are finding a little bit of you again, before all your sorrow, pain and worry. Rejoice in it and maybe , just maybe, it was a little tickle from Elijah and the Heavenly Father!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what it was Jean. But this is a pattern through life. . .I giggle at the wrong times. But it's a reminder that our Heavenly Father reaches right now. . . during the yuck. . . .
DeleteJean I bet you are right! -Ama
ReplyDeleteI love it that you do these things too!
DeleteSounds like stress relief, but whatever it is, God has a sense of humor, so I'm sure he understands. Thanks for always sharing so honestly.
ReplyDeleteYes, I do think you're right it is a stress relief. God is the author of humor and I am so awfully glad. He meets us right where the grit and grime are. He meets us right in the middle of intense pain and grief. What a blessing.
DeleteTammy, inappropriate or not, I think it shows what a good mother you are!! My kids (now adult women) still try to make me laugh at inappropriate times, especially when we are at family meals because they know that once I start, it is really hard for me to stop. My sister used to make me laugh when I was so mad that I wanted to tear her apart, so of course, I got madder yet I love her to bits! May you find laughter at any time and continue to share it with your family. Someday we will have to try to have a serious gathering over a cup of coffee and see how long until we start giggling... Hugs and prayers to you. Laurel
ReplyDeleteI think this problem will always be! :) I think some of us are more bent to it than others. Looking forward to coffee with you! Soon I hope.
DeleteI'm pretty sure you're a poster-mom. And I love this picture of you with all it means! Also, is your header pic from your land?
ReplyDeleteThe milk running out my nose because I laugh too much picture! :) Yes, the header is my back yard. Back when we could see grass and it grew. . . before there was death and below zero temperatures for 4 months straight. . .
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