Friday, November 29, 2013

Finding Contentment on Black Friday. . .Day #29 of Thankfulness

Philippians 4:12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, 
whether living in plenty or in want.

The farmhouse was filled to the brim with babies, toddlers, teens; friends, family, love and lots of food. The generations growing as the next have children. And what contentment that brings. Even in the midst of deep grief, the next generation brings hope. 
I didn't think the day would be hard. 
The agony comes unexpected; when you're not prepared. When you sit in the quiet, contemplating Black Friday, and the only Black Friday you know is when Jesus paid the price for your ransom. And that's when the grief rubs raw. In the early morning, while it is still dark and the season of Advent is about to begin. And your heart wants to break in two. Because no matter how thankful you are, you're son is not coming home. 

You will not be travelling in the next week to see him graduate from boot camp. 
Your travel will consist of radiation treatments and more unknown. 
And the practice of gratefulness will lead to contentment. I am not yet there. 
The skin of this journey uncomfortable, abrasive. But I am content with knowing that the Jesus of my Black Friday walks this journey with me. 

We will put away the Fall Decorations and make an effort to create a warm Christmas house. I can't help think of my mom and the magic she created at Christmas. The wonder of the Savior, come so that we might live, and the beauty as she transformed her log cabin into a magical wonderland. I never tired of sitting in front of the fire with her, drinking our tea, looking at the tree. The peace that memory brings is still powerful. I don't think it was the tree, or the lights.I think it was a time when I was quiet enough for the Holy Spirit to minister to my soul.
 To show me deep peace and contentment. 
I am looking forward to spending time with the family and getting the Christmas Tree.
I will continue to be grateful, and add contentment to the list.

Day #29 of Thankfulness
I am thankful for:
A large family and friend gathering
a love of cooking
deep breaths when all is overwhelming
SIL's and friends who enjoy cleaning
a quiet night holding the sweetest of babies
a warm bed (have I mentioned I love to go to bed)
flannel jammies
an abundance of food
a BIL who makes the best mashed potatoes and Squash
teens in the house
laughter and joy
17 Thanksgivings with my boy
memories that make us laugh
a candle on the table flickering throughout the meal in his honor
a Savior that died on the only Black Friday that really matters
Grace for the journey
a daughter who lets me know she's home

My farmer, husband loves this song. 
He is not a verbose man. This song sums up the beat of his heart. 
As you listen may thankfulness and contentment be your Companions.

When fears are stilled and striving ceased. . .

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