I Want To Finish Well. . .Day #15 of Thankfulness

I stand at his grave. 

The tears don't come.
In some ways it is hard to feel.
I just miss him.
So much. 

I bend down and touch the flowers.

They were placed on the birthday of the Marines. 

Left by those that miss him too.

Why is it that we want what we can not have?

Why does our soul long for things out of reach?

We are restless. 

A people still wandering in the desert; the promised land within reach. 

Obedience is too difficult. 

Surrender, foreign to our me centered lives.

Philippians 1:21
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

This was Paul's Mantra.
It is what he desired beyond all things.
To finish well.
He considered death victory.

I want to finish well.
I want to seek God's face through out these difficult trials.
I want peace for my weary soul.
The only place is centered in God's will and on His word.

So, I will not fear, I will be strong in the LORD.

Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.


“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.” 
― Elisabeth Elliot, A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael

Day #15 of Thankfulness
I am Thankful for:
Visits with friends and their baby
Those who come to the door with flowers for Ana for her performance in the play
Dinner brought to the door with love and a time of fellowship
A sunny day and lawn furniture put away
Spoofing on a Health Curriculum with my daughter
Giggles from the same daughter over texting with a wonderful mentor
The kids coming home after being gone for most of the day
waking up and NOT feeling anxious for the first time in almost 17 weeks
My farmer who never complains, continues to push through with hope, always hope
A new mop
(yes I am thankful for something that has to do with cleaning)
The lessons I am learning, even in this very unsettling time
For walks that push me forward each day


Sometimes it feel like I am breathing
But am I alive?
All I know is I'm not home yet, This is not where I belong. . .
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong