When You Don't Feel Like Being Thankful. . . Day #23 Of Thankfulness

At times being Thankful is so hard. 

With all the grief and heartache, all the things that keep going wrong,

 it's hard to find the breath to be thankful. Inside burns; my whole world seems so fractured. 

Yet, I want to be thankful. I want to live the life God intended. 

I Thessolonians 5:18

give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

It is a decision to be Thankful. It is a lifetime spent seeking for that in which to be grateful; even in  adversity. Even when your world comes crashing down, and for a moment in time your heart stops beating. And your son is abruptly taken from you. Your red headed, smart, fully alive boy, is gone. 

Yet there is still life. 

 God promises the eternal. 

And while we still have purpose on this earth. I want to live it. 

Once again, I breathe through the pain. 

I breathe in deep the promise of hope.

And I exhale the grief.

I meet the trials of this life with the strength given for the moment. 

Because thankfulness is not just a holiday. 

It is a life lived  surrendered to the One who gave. 

In that surrendering is great freedom.

In that surrendering is sweet peace. 

And when life gets hard, we put our knees to the ground in prayer, and lift our voices in praise. 

We set our hearts on things above. 

Colossians 3:1-3

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

I still do not like this journey. I still want to shake it all off. Yet, it is here to stay.

So, I will count my blessings and gifts. 

My farmer and I will plan, as best be can, for what's to come. 

And there really is sweet grace along the journey. 

Day #23 of Thankfulness

I am thankful for:

a movie night spent with the family, with laughter and peace

for folks much wiser than I coming alongside my farmer to offer support

For movie tickets in the mail from Florida, sent with love

Time with my sister in law

visits with my niece and step daughter and their 2 children, such sweetness

The sound of the farmers steps on the porch

the tough parts of marriage that change who you are

possible help out of the seemingly impossible trial of emptying the manure pit

sleep;such a gift through these trials

coffee; and those who know I like it 

the times I had with Elijah drinking coffee and being together

letters from Parris Island and the honor and privilege to write back

I hope this day, this week, will not be just about the holiday, but a life time of giving thanks; looking for  beauty in the midst of the storm.
Continue to open my eyes, to the wonder, Lord.
Please, never let me go.