Friday, November 8, 2013

Can You See Beyond The Grief? Day #8 of Thankfulness

When my mother in law died I thought my heart broke in two.
I wrote a song. 
In a moment you were gone. 
We know we must go on
But it's the living that's so hard

Psalm 118:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

She died suddenly without warning;
14 months after my father in law. 
She was my support, my friend, my mentor.
She encouraged us in farming, in our spiritual walk, in life.
She loved her children and grandchildren and
showed this with every step she took on this earth.

It was during this grieving process that I found out
 I was pregnant with Christiana.
I was not expecting this. 
I had given all my baby stuff away.
I was in shock.
And then I was sick almost all of the pregnancy.
Weekends were spent cleaning out my in laws home.
Such a hard road.
Again a community came along side our families.
And as the baby within me grew, so did hope.
And my sweet little girl was born on Christmas Eve.
And I remember pondering through those Nine months. . .what had Mary thought as she waited
to bear down and bring forth life. . .eternal life. . .the hope of Nations.

Luke 1:46

Mary’s Song
46 And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
47     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

Day # 8 of Thankfulness
I am Thankful for Christiana:

 for her love of fashion and fancy mixed with farm girl grit
Beautiful blue eyes that twinkle
Sensitivity to so many things
Her quiet strength that shows in her endless encouraging notes around the house
Endless hugs and snuggles
Her desire to clean
(seriously she likes it)

Always a hug for grandpa

Her love for anything to do with dance

Her endless twirling, swirling around the rooms of the house

Her ability to make me laugh

Her absolute love for babies

Her smile that lights up your day

Her stunning beauty that takes my breath away
Her confidence in who she is

Her love of photography and creating beautiful pictures

Her love for the Lord and her desire to serve him.

Her love for her brother
Her memorizing all of Psalm 1
Crawling into my lap just to hold me when I can't take the sorrow any longer
She is a gift to me.
And named after her Grandma Shirley whom she is so much like.
The Grammie she never knew.

She was unexpected and our Christmas gift.

And even now as we walk this road of grief;
as I long to turn back time and hold my boy. . . and look forward to his future,

Luke 1:46-48
My soul glorifies the Lord
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful    of the humble state of his servant.

We will rejoice. We will serve and wait upon the LORD.

Won't you take a moment to listen to John Michael Talbot's expression of
"The Magnificat"

Holy, holy is His name. 

1 comment:

  1. Tammy, just now catching up on days missed of reading your blog. Your blog is a constant reminder of why we need to stay focused on our faith and not ask the questions that will never be answered; and, why we can't make sense of all the pain in our lives... and what a waste of precious time and energy that is. Thank you for sharing your gifts to all of us who are suffering from our own uncertainties and for reminding us to count our blessings for all that we have to be thankful for.
    We continue to lift you all up in prayer each and every day.