Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Where Do You Go When You Can't Leave?

The wind howls.
It's vet check.
Robinson's come to fill the tenant house with fuel.. 
This winter won't quit.

Separating cows to be dried off seems like such an ominous task
when the wind steals your breath and your fingers feel numb. . . at the end of March. 
How do you maintain any kind of a positive attitude when the
sun doesn't shine and the icy gusts chill to the bone?
Many leave. 
They leave Vermont for warmer weather. 
They head out on vacation. 
If our hired help situation was different, we too would join the throngs
 headed to a tropical paradise. 
My farmer can't get warm.
Deep loss, chemo, radiation  and depression leave him cold;  
defenseless against the bitter winter. 
What is the remedy? 
Last week I turned up the volume and listened to Christmas music. 
Today, I reach deeper. 
Winter's clutches won't let go.

The talons of depression are tightly attached to my farmer. 
Snow, ice and everything frozen keep important work from being done.
And the door to discouragement, for me, is ajar.
I fight with all I have.
I cling to what I know.

Psalm 62: 5-6
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
 my fortress where I will not be shaken

It is in finding the quiet.
  Rest in the Lord.
The Lessons in Lent I seek. 
If I choose to wallow and name all that is wrong, I descend into the pit.
But when I count a Thousand Gifts; I name that for which I am thankful.
Something happens. 
God meets me there; in my brokenness and pain.
He goes before me, I am not alone. (Building 429)
He lifts me out of the pit and sets my feet on firm ground.

Psalm 40:2
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. 
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.

The well worn path is there.  I remain on that path. 
I sing a childhood song.
Count your blessings, name them one by one. 
Count your blessings see what God has done.

Whatever may come our way. 
We won't be shaken!


  1. I continue to pray for you and your family every day!! You are an inspiration!! May God's love fill you with warmth and peace.

  2. Thank you so much for your prayers. They really are a gift aren't they?

  3. I pray for you and your precious family every day!
    Jean Drury