Monday, April 21, 2014

When Each Step Taken, Is On Solid Ground

Easter. A day of great joy. 
Also my birthday. Another new path forged. 
Days I didn't want to walk through. 
Yet the beat of time relentless in its march. 

(Easter 2013)

(Easter 2013)

Then, the realization that your first born is residing in Glory on this Resurrection day. Oh the joy he experiences on a continual basis. We, a people, just trying to understand with limited minds. I made it through most of the service with out crying. It's the first service since Elijah met Jesus and Gary was diagnosed with cancer, that I haven't dissolved into a weeping mess. There were 3 additional lovely ladies with us. We took up 2 pews. And I was so grateful. Even though I was minus one, I was also plus 3. God saw fit to surround me with those that I love. It is continually counting 1,000 Gifts.  Having eyes to see. Stepping onto solid ground. The service was beautiful. A trumpet descant on almost all the songs. Music soothes my soul. It reaches deep to the unseen places. To the places of searing pain. I close my eyes as we sing. . . I am so weary. My mind is filled with memories of years gone by. They come flooding forward.  The pain comes at will. Never when you expect it. It is then I shed a tear. The Hallelujah Chorus is being sung. I breathe deep. Last year Crystal went with Elijah to sing. My tear is for gratitude. I have been held. We have been carried. We will never be let go. We are fiercely sought after.

Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness

Even though I don't feel it. Even though my heart cries for the one I miss; we are kept.

 I want to shake the memories. Crystal heads up to sing again this year. She is a strong young lady. She seeks the holy. Not understanding all this. But trying. Searching. 

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

This has been a long week. I am left with so many questions. A Saturday to a Saturday. . . life changed in a moment. I seek to yield to the will of the Father. I echo our Lord's cry, not my will but thine.  I don't know what is expected of me. Everything still so out of sorts. So raw. So I stay with what I know. I rejoice in the resurrection. The tomb could not hold Jesus. He has conquered death. He can break the bond of sin that holds us. He can fill our longing hearts. He is able.

There are small buds on the trees.  New life. It is rising up; hope in every moment.  May you step into that hope this Easter Monday. A day of remembering in Boston. A new Marathon. Stronger people.
We are a people who "will not be shaken,
Our feet are placed on solid ground. 

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